How I See Myself

And I’m actually not talking about self-image so much here.

Even though I struggled briefly with an eating disorder, and also hated the way I looked in my underwear when I weighed about twenty pounds more than I do now, I consider my self-image to be kind of normal. I think I’m okay-looking, and I think my weight at present looks right on me. But it’s amazing how seeing yourself in pictures, or on video, can wildly throw off your interior self-image in one direction or another.

I was happy with my weight throughout college, right up until I included myself as an extra in one of the short films I shot during my senior year. I set up the camera and taped myself and my male star walking up the steps to my dorm, me pretending to chatter away, him pretending to seethe with private murderous rage. When I (eventually) got to the editing room, I was shocked to see myself – I WAS SO FAT!

Daily Goals

Kim

Water: I’m noticing it’s getting much easier to reach the 64 oz goal the more I spend time with Jillian and the hotter it gets outside. I guess that’s good?

Calories/Nutrition: Also noticing it’s a lot easier to keep the calorie count under control when using water as the primary beverage to drink. Coffee and water are pretty much the only liquids I’ve consumed in weeks, and the coffee is only one cup in the morning. Who can drink very much of it when the temperatures are consitently in the high 90’s with 110% humidity? Yes, I’m obsessed with the weather right now in case you haven’t noticed.

Exercise: Doing good with bumping it up a little this week, but all I’ve done is add twenty minutes of stepper time to the 30DS and I can see that getting old after a short while. But for now, that’s what I’m doing. I’m also buying a new sports bra today which will go a long way toward keeping the Girls under control during the bouncy times.

Worst Thing Today: We didn’t get home until 3am this morning trying to finish up the tile job and I was too tired to go to work today.

Best Thing Today: The fact I got to sleep in a little and the nap I see in my near future.

Notes: For every ten pounds I lose I’ve decided to reward myself with something. Normally that would be clothes, but considering I’m working toward going down a few sizes that wouldn’t make much sense at the moment. If I reach the goal this weekend, I’ll probably buy a new exercise product, whether it be a new dvd or piece of equipment. I’ve heard good things about the Hip Hop Abs dvd, and as long as Brian isn’t home to witness me trying to dance, I think I’d have fun with it.