Drastic Measures

Okay, after watching last week’s episode of Biggest Loser, I’ve been really giving some thought to my diet. In general, I don’t eat poorly. I feel like I eat healthily but I do have a tendency toward the standing snack. This is a snack that is consumed while standing at the pantry in small amounts….like 1 Oreo when I am putting the package away from the grocery store. Or a few Doritos when I am folding the bag closed after packing my daughter’s lunch. Individually these things aren’t diet killers, but collectively. Oh Boy.

I have really upped my exercise amount  in the last 6 months and still am not seeing the results I’d like to. So, I’m focusing on the diet now. And I don’t mean “watching my diet” because I clearly have been doing a lot of watching and not actively adjusting it. So, this is my plan.

For the next 2 weeks, I will institute the good old Slim Fast shakes for breakfast and mostly for lunch. (The Cappuccino Delight is actually…delightful!) I will reserve the option to substitute cottage cheese and salsa or tuna fish. For dinner, I will have a measured (eye-balled), balanced meal. I’m not kidding you or me if I say I’m going to stick to chicken breasts and lean meats and low carbs. That is really, really not going to happen. BUT, I can vow to have only 1 piece of pizza rather than 2, and keep the carbs as a small side, rather than star of the plate. I can limit my bread intake at restaurants and I can skip the English Toffee Creamer in my coffee. For 2 weeks. I can do it! I’ll let you know if I get results. As my reward, if I succeed, I will be enjoying guilt-free, buttered popcorn, when we go see “Where The Wild Things Are” which releases here Oct. 16th.

The Big Day

Today was the Autumn Rock and Run 5K. First off, no, I didn’t run the WHOLE thing. But I am so glad I did it. I feel exhilerated and proud that I finished strong. I think this was a pretty good starting point, and it’s kinda hard to explain but it was really nice to just be around people who were all there for a good cause and interested, on many different levels, in becoming or being fit. I think this run is always going to hold a special place in my heart for being the first and also because it was so great with the bands playing along the route. The route was through small quiet neighborhoods, and along a golf course, and the bands were just blaring, Skynard, and Aerosmith….it was great. Also I found out that my BMI is 24%, which according to their chart was Above Average. I was just happy, because I really thought the number was going to start with a 3! Anyway, I had a great time, and I totally see this as a jumping off point, and I can’t wait to see where I’m at in the next few months for the next run, The Reindeer Run in December. And yes, they do encourage the wearing of antlers!

One can o’ worms coming right up!

Okay, all you runners out there, I need some opinions. Okay, here’s my situation. I will be doing a 5K on September 12th. It was my goal to run the whole thing, but at this point with my cardio, unless something miraculous, like a cold front in Florida, happens between now and then, I don’t think it’s going to happen. But I am looking forward to doing it as I have never done one before and I am excited for the experience. Plus, it’s called the Rock and Run and they have bands playing throughout the route and the more I talk to people, the more friends I am discovering are participating in it.

So, here’s my quandry. My running pal in the hood recommends I run at a very slow pace to run longer. I have tried this and even at a very slow pace I know I won’t make the whole 3 miles.

Secondly, my husband ran with me today, and he recommends I run normally and if I need to walk at some point do so, and then run again. A run-walk approach. He believes this will strengthen my cardio quicker and in the long run (no pun intended) I will be able to run farther. He looked at my form today and said I looked like I was shuffling along like an old man….my dad in particular!

So, I’d like some opinions on what to do, what is the best way to run. I believe I enjoy it more when I run normally and just go for as long as I can, and then a little bit more, and then walk. It seems funner. So I guess I have to ask myself what my real intention is.

On top of this, there is an article in Fitness this month on how run/walking actually burns more calories than just regular running.

Okay, I welcome your valuable opinions now. Oh, and by the way, I’m doing an experiment tomorrow and am going to run/walk the 5K to check my time.

Jealous Much?

Today I talked with a friend whom I haven’t seen all summer. We talk on the phone and do a good job of keeping updated on each other’s happenings. We made plans to see other in a couple of weeks before summer is over. Then she told me that she ran 3 milles the other day. Then she told me that she dropped 10 pounds, without really trying. Errrp! My mouth was saying “That’s great!” But my heart was saying, “That’s my 3 miles….that’s my 10 pounds.” WTF!!!

The Artist’s Way book that I’m reading says that Jealousy is a Map. Instead of looking upon it negatively and kicking yourself for thinking such horrible thoughts, take a step back and try to see what it is telling you. It is NOT telling you that your friend just lost the last 10 pounds that anyone, anywhere will ever lose. It is NOT telling you that she just ran the last 3 miles and no one will ever be able to do that again.

It points to fear. Fear of doing something I really want, but don’t yet feel BRAVE enough to do yet. Fear that I am not able to get what I want. Or Fear that someone else is getting what should be mine. Jealousy doesn’t allow for abundance and multiplicity in the Universe. It says there can be only one. It tells us, “they are ahead, why even try?”

I don’t know of anyone who is enlightened enough not to feel the pangs of jealousy every once in a while. But I believe it can be a guide. A guide to what we really want. And a guide to what steps need to be taken to get there.

So after I took the hit, and felt sorry for myself because of my lack of progress. I took a long, hard look at what I have been doing and what I NEED to start doing in order to get on track to what I want. Because it is so much easier to say “That’s great that you lost 10 pounds.” and really, really mean it, when you are right there along for the ride.

Shifting Identities

There is a wonderful book by author Julia Cameron called The Artist’s Way. It just so happens that my weekly art group is discussing Chapter 4,  Recovering a Sense of Integrity. It is about self definition and integration of new self awareness.  The timing of this chapter couldn’t be more synchronistic.

I think we are all entering a phase where we are becoming new people. We are no longer loafers who amble along turning a blind eye to what we put in our mouths,  what we see in the mirror, or what our bodies are telling us. We are becoming more aware of our SELVES.  We pay attention now. We gingerly monitor our aches and pains so as not to go too far and take ourselves out of the game. We have become familiar with healthy foods,  healthy portions, and healthy habits. We know what will make us feel good, what will make us feel guilty, and what will make us feel just plain YUCK!

When I started this journey I basically wanted my outside to match who I picture myself to be on the inside. I can do comparisons to what I used to be, but that was a different time and I was a different person (with a different metabolism and different responsibilities).  Now I look forward to looking in the mirror and seeing someone who obviously takes good care of themselves,  who values and respects their body, and who is vibrant and ready to embrace life’s many challenges and adventures. 

The author writes:  “Shifts in taste and perception frequently accompany shifts in identity. One of the clearest signals that something healthy is afoot is the impulse to weed out, sort through, and discard old clothes, papers, and belongings.  When the search-and-discard impulse seizes you, two crosscurrents are at work–the old you is grieving and leaving, while the new you celebrates and grows strong. (I’m thinking of Kim cleaning  out her closet and having such a strong emotional response—you’re getting stronger, girl!)

I’m in the process of weeding out my studio in particular, and actually the whole house in general. It seems like a nesting is taking place. Like I’m getting ready for the birth of a new self.

I believe that as I go through this process, the more I examine and question how the F*** I got to this point, I  just might be more prepared to not let it happen again.

I survived vacation!

Hi All,
Needless to say, had a great time on vacation. There is just something so dreamy about crossing the bridge to the island. It is like entering another world. A deep breath of the salty air and I am free. I get creative. I want to write and I want to read and I want to paint. Island life is about waking up early and playing all day, eating early and going to bed spent, only to do it all over again the next day. It’s a lot like being a kid again. I enjoyed the seafood feast and really didn’t go hardcore on watching what I ate. I ate ice cream and a burger, Slurpees and my daily rations of beer and pina coladas. Eating out can be hard, but I am coming to realize what a great amount of food is being served and on several occasions I split with my mom or Leila or just got soup or salad and had bites from everyone’s plates. There is ALWAYS so much food. Being in the hot sun definitely makes for eating lighter and for guzzling water. The only “real” exercise I did was running. Which I don’t know if I want to call it that. It’s my alone time, which is a nice way to set the day. The rest of the time I just played. I ended up gaining a 1/2 pound, which is nothing considering I wasn’t watching it, and I’m factoring in the fact that a tan makes you look at least 5 pounds lighter. I’m going to try to incorporate more of a play hard, eat less, drink more (water) relaxed type of regimen. It definitely is a lot less stressful than beating myself up for missing a workout.

I’m on Island Time

Well, guys, I am off to Sanibel Island for vacation for a week. As we all know vacation can be a dangerous time for anyone trying to lose weight. I didn’t meet my goal weight for this trip, but I’m not bummed because I do feel toner and more fit, which is what I’m going to focus on. The great thing about island life is that there is always so much to do and we are out there riding, swimming, walking, playing tennis and this time around I’ll be running. I already have my route planned to run to the Lighthouse in the morning. The hard part is all of the delicious food, starting with the annual arrival feast. We have been going to Sanibel for the past almost 25 years, since I was about 15. On the night that everyone arrives, my dad will cook a huge seafood feast complete with lobster tails, and my personal favorite Alaskan King Crab legs! Of course with butter, corn, pina coladas and all the extra goodies that go with it. I’m not even going to make any false claims that I will hold back at this event. I won’t. But for the rest of the time I intend to be conscious of what I’m eating and make every effort to make some good food choices. It’s all about being healthy and having a good life and I’m starting to realize that is more about having a healthy fit body than rewarding myself with fattening food. But, that being said, everyone needs a night of hedonism every once in a while. See ya’ in a week!

A terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day

I have been doing pretty good as far as my exercise program is going. I have been sweating every day and feel good about this new running thing I’m getting into. BUT, when I weighed myself this past week…..nothing!  I know something is happening because my clothes fit better, especially in the nether regions and my arms seem to be getting some definition reminiscent of days of yore. I feel better. I feel stronger. What the hell?  Could my scale be broken?

So, back to reality, and I realize that I will have to adjust my eating habits to get this ball rolling. So, this morning I have a boiled egg and black coffee for breakfast. And mentally plan out what I will have the rest of the day to stay on track. I do believe planning ahead is a major key to eating healthily. So, anyway, I head out to the porch do some morning writing and Leila heads out with me to blow some morning bubbles. I am writing and doing my affirmations…..Life is Easy….I choose to allow all good into my life…Abundance is flowing to me in waves…Aaaahhhhhh. Nice.

Then I hear the SPOUSE stomping towards us…”You need to come help me.”  Urrr. Helping him is basically an impromptu building of a tarp, lattice, lean-to, cover structure for the garbage cans and lawnmower and wheelbarrow.  NOT what I had in mind. I won’t go into the details, but let’s just say it went downhill from there.

The snapping point happened when we were all getting into the car to go pick up our van from the repair shop, where it was getting a new battery. Well, then the friggin’ car doesn’t start. You see what I mean about a bad day?  This is the same car that I literally just drove to Wal-Mart and was having a little sentimental lovefest with about how great she still drives and how she starts right up, no problem, and actually imaging myself in a Honda commercial…300,000 miles and still running great!  She is almost 15 years old and has 145,000 miles on her, and she really hasn’t give us too much trouble. But today, that bitch wouldn’t start. Insert fits and fumes. Fast forward 10 minutes and we are all sulking about what to do. Then Leila jumps on me and says, this is all happening because maybe we won the lottery!!  She’s 6 and I know that statement must say something about our parenting skills, but I am choosing to think we are instilling a sense of hope in her. Anyway, maybe she’s right. 

She’s not.

When I have the bright idea…”who wants an oatmeal cream pie?”

The dogs’ ears perk up as we are crinkle open our cellophane wrappers……mmmm. This might be what heroin feels like. Didn’t these things used to be bigger?  This is Leila’s first time having one and she asks…what’s in the middle?  Tim replies, “That’s cream.”  We ALL know it is NOT cream.  Maybe my scale is not broken after all.

So my question is this, when the shit hits the fan, anyone have any suggestions or methods of controlling stress eating. This is my biggest challenge. When things are going smoothly, I can stay on track. But when things get crazy I reach for the junk food like….well…a junkie. Help!