There’s none of the Plucky Little Ninjas when your demons come at you.
*Aside – Am I the only one who remembers that old SNL sketch?
Ninja Leader: Now, before the fight, how did we all agree we should attack the guy?
Group: All together!
Ninja Leader: And how did we attack?
Group: One at a time!
So, let’s review. I’m trying to tackle several of my little demons:
- Bad diet
- Lack of exercise
- Caffeine addiction
But the little buggers keep coming at me all at once. They’re crafty, they are. And me, I’m trying to fight them all at once instead of segregating them. Why? Because I’m impatient, that’s why. I don’t want to wait to kick one down before taking on the other when I think, perhaps misguidedly, that somehow if I land a few good punches at first I can take ’em all out together. Much more quickly.
The real bitch right now is trying to kick the caffeine. Because, damn. I went for probably four years of my life without a steady, daily intake of caffeine in any form. I might splurge every now and then by having a Coke whenever I ate out (which was maybe once a week, at most) but that was it. Then my hell week last year, when I mostly survived on granola bars and Coke for a week or three, and I was right back in it. I barely got off of it again earlier this year and fell right back off the wagon.
You know, a bad diet and lack of exercise might just kill you. They’re sneaky but they’re very patient. They want to kill you slowly. Caffeine? Drop it, and WHABBO it hits back hard and fast. No subtlety there.
I had a Coke with breakfast on Monday. I didn’t have one on Tuesday morning, and I went to work in a non-air-conditioned space all day. About 11am, I was thinking, “Boy, I’m starting to get a headache. Must be the heat. Lunch is coming up, I’ll sit down and rest and that’ll help.” Uh, no. Misdiagnosis. By 2:30 I had such a blinding headache that I couldn’t concentrate on anything but making it through to get home. It was so crushing that I was starting to feel sick to my stomach, even.
I got home and could barely enjoy the fact that Dys was in a great mood, had a wonderful (maybe too wonderful! dinner on the stove and was actually asking if she’d like to make me a glass of bourbon. Instead, I had a Coke, took a cool shower, and proceeded to lie down in a darkened room and doze off for half an hour. After which I felt more or less okay. That was the last Coke I had, although I sneaked a sip of Dys’s Pepsi last night. I figured if I could stretch it from Tuesday night to Thursday morning, that would be a help. But this morning, I was feeling fairly good, so I skipped it, thinking I could get a drink from the vending machine here in the office if need be.
It’s now 3pm and I’m just starting to feel a little edge of a headache coming on. Now it’s one of those decisions – do I try to tough it out, like I did Tuesday? Or should I give in, have just a little, and try to wean myself? Which is more defeating to my greater fitness goals – giving in and having something that’s bad for me and loaded with sugar, or trying to fight it off and being unable to exercise because my head’s already about to vacate my shoulders?
See, this is why I hate hate hate having an addiction that actually has physical withdrawal symptoms. Grr.
C’mere, demons, I gotta lead-lined glove with your names on it.