Demons fight smart.

There’s none of the Plucky Little Ninjas when your demons come at you.

*Aside – Am I the only one who remembers that old SNL sketch?

Ninja Leader: Now, before the fight, how did we all agree we should attack the guy?

Group: All together!

Ninja Leader: And how did we attack?

Group: One at a time!

* un-aside.

So, let’s review.  I’m trying to tackle several of my little demons:

  • Bad diet
  • Lack of exercise
  • Caffeine addiction

But the little buggers keep coming at me all at once.  They’re crafty, they are.  And me, I’m trying to fight them all at once instead of segregating them.  Why?  Because I’m impatient, that’s why.  I don’t want to wait to kick one down before taking on the other when I think, perhaps misguidedly, that somehow if I land a few good punches at first I can take ’em all out together.  Much more quickly.

The real bitch right now is trying to kick the caffeine.  Because, damn.  I went for probably four years of my life without a steady, daily intake of caffeine in any form.  I might splurge every now and then by having a Coke whenever I ate out (which was maybe once a week, at most) but that was it.  Then my hell week last year, when I mostly survived on granola bars and Coke for a week or three, and I was right back in it.  I barely got off of it again earlier this year and fell right back off the wagon.

You know, a bad diet and lack of exercise might just kill you.  They’re sneaky but they’re very patient.  They want to kill you slowly.  Caffeine?  Drop it, and WHABBO it hits back hard and fast.  No subtlety there.

I had a Coke with breakfast on Monday.  I didn’t have one on Tuesday morning, and I went to work in a non-air-conditioned space all day.  About 11am, I was thinking, “Boy, I’m starting to get a headache.  Must be the heat.  Lunch is coming up, I’ll sit down and rest and that’ll help.”  Uh, no.  Misdiagnosis.  By 2:30 I had such a blinding headache that I couldn’t concentrate on anything but making it through to get home.  It was so crushing that I was starting to feel sick to my stomach, even.

I got home and could barely enjoy the fact that Dys was in a great mood, had a wonderful (maybe too wonderful! dinner on the stove and was actually asking if she’d like to make me a glass of bourbon.  Instead, I had a Coke, took a cool shower, and proceeded to lie down in a darkened room and doze off for half an hour.  After which I felt more or less okay.  That was the last Coke I had, although I sneaked a sip of Dys’s Pepsi last night.  I figured if I could stretch it from Tuesday night to Thursday morning, that would be a help.  But this morning, I was feeling fairly good, so I skipped it, thinking I could get a drink from the vending machine here in the office if need be.

It’s now 3pm and I’m just starting to feel a little edge of a headache coming on.  Now it’s one of those decisions – do I try to tough it out, like I did Tuesday?  Or should I give in, have just a little, and try to wean myself?  Which is more defeating to my greater fitness goals – giving in and having something that’s bad for me and loaded with sugar, or trying to fight it off and being unable to exercise because my head’s already about to vacate my shoulders?

See, this is why I hate hate hate having an addiction that actually has physical withdrawal symptoms.  Grr.

C’mere, demons, I gotta lead-lined glove with your names on it.

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9 Responses to Demons fight smart.

  1. Laura says:

    I’ve pretty got my caffiene intake down to one cup of coffee a day, and sometimes there’ll be a cup of hot or iced tea, or a diet soda in the mix. I think the only thing to do with caffiene withdrawal, really, is to tough it out, and drink loooooots of water. You might also try eating a piece of dark chocolate, which has some caffiene in it but not as much as a soda. Perhaps weaning is the way to go, rather than cold-turkey? (and yes, I remember that skit!)

  2. crisitunity says:

    Don’t do it! Don’t give in to caffeine. I’ve been off soda for more than five years and I’ve never regretted it for a second. Stay clean!

    Also, whether WHABBO was a typo or not, I think it’s my new favorite word.

  3. Kimmothy says:

    Of all the addictions I’ve been through, I don’t think I’ll ever be a fully recovered soda junkie. I can go long stretches without it (like now, for instance) when I’m working toward a goal, but it seems like one dinner out – and I always like to have a beautiful sparkling glass of Coke when I’m out to dinner – and I’m right off the wagon again.
    As far as caffeine, I thought since I’m down to one cup of coffee right now, it wouldn’t be any big deal if I didn’t have any last Saturday. I then spent almost six hours sleeping off a hideous headache.
    If caffeine is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.
    Actually I do wish to be free of it, but I don’t see it happening.

  4. huladog says:

    Hi All,
    Today’s my first official day as part of the group. Yippee. I promise to get my info up ASAP, but I’m already at work and blah, blah, blah. I’m so happy to join!

    I love coffee! And I think I heard/read somewhere that it is actually good for you in moderation, so I’m sticking with that story. Considering I work nights and I’m a mommy during the day, I wouldn’t be able to function without my trusty pot of coffee. I drink about 2 cups in the morning and 1-2 at night. I don’t have a problem with sleeping, but I am realizing that the extras i.e. coffee and delicious coconut creamer are sabotaging my efforts. So I’m Back in Black for the time being.

    Although I am biased in the coffee department, what we’re talking about here is caffiene. First, I think regular consumption of soda has got to go. I say regular consumption because who can resist an ice cold one right next to a slice of pizza? Greasy cheese and a frosty glass of chemicals….Mmmm…heaven! uh-hum. I digress. I think the best way to go would be to go cold-turkey on the sodas, but get your caffeine a different way, either through iced tea or coffee or Exedrine Migraine. I think you’ll have an easier time weaning yourself off the caffeine if you can get away from the soda habit first.

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