Going into this, I knew I was going to have to make some fairly drastic changes. I also know myself pretty well when it comes to fitness goals, and knew that if I was going to get a good start, I was going to be making bigger changes first with adding exercise, then gradually altering the way I eat. See I have this thing about food – I love it with an unholy, sexual love. It’s a downright miracle I was able to maintain as low of a weight as I did for so long, and though it’s now all finally caught me, I kind of figured it had to happen eventually. It is not in my genetic make-up to be thin and the fact that I was for so long was astounding to people on both sides of my family. I come from a tribe of semi-chubby, food-loving people. I love them, but it’s damn annoying sometimes.
I think I’ve mentioned before that I’d rather practice portion control than eat things that contain words like “Lite” or “Fat Free” in them. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve tried stuff like that and except for a couple of salad dressings, I just can’t do it. Why waste any calories at all on something that tastes like ass? No, if this means I have to be a little more diligent with measuring and paying attention, I’m all for it. I’m excited to say that instead of the usual mindless dumping a small mountain in, I’m down to six teaspoons of creamer in my morning joe – that’s a significant reduction, but it didn’t alter the taste in any way except for the fact I can actually taste some coffee now. My brain can deal with making changes like that and I don’t feel as if I’m depriving myself of things this way.
The problem I’m running into mostly right now are certain times of the day when it’s all I can do to restrain myself from shoving anything edible into my mouth. That mid to late afternoon lull when blood sugar is supposedly low. Right after I get home – maybe that’s a holdover from afterschool milk & cookies? And then of course the famous after dinner late evening snack, when I feel as though I’d trade several loved ones in for an ice cream sandwich. This is also the time that I’ve mentioned my loved one makes repeated trips to the kitchen, so I get to watch that all night long.
I’ve never been a huge eater, in that I don’t normally eat a lot at one sitting. There have been exceptions to that of course (a six-course Italian Easter dinner comes to mind), but the outcome of that is never good. I can’t stand being so full as to be miserable, so I don’t have a problem there. No, I’m a true grazer, which in the dieting world is supposed to be one of the tricks. The problem has been, I think, what I’ve been grazing on. Apparently the time has long past where I can mindlessly grab a bag of M ‘n M’s or Doritos and go merrily on my skinny way.
With that in mind, I can’t see myself being a carrot and celery muncher all the time. Not that I have anything against carrots and celery, but the thought of those things being my only snacking options depresses the hell out of me. I think for now the key is going to be to think a little more carefully before shoving something in my food hole. Am I really hungry, or am I just bored? Is that little tummy rumble really going to kill me or can I wait until dinner before eating? That type of thing. Just like with the coffee creamer, I think little modifications are going to help go a long way.