Today I talked with a friend whom I haven’t seen all summer. We talk on the phone and do a good job of keeping updated on each other’s happenings. We made plans to see other in a couple of weeks before summer is over. Then she told me that she ran 3 milles the other day. Then she told me that she dropped 10 pounds, without really trying. Errrp! My mouth was saying “That’s great!” But my heart was saying, “That’s my 3 miles….that’s my 10 pounds.” WTF!!!
The Artist’s Way book that I’m reading says that Jealousy is a Map. Instead of looking upon it negatively and kicking yourself for thinking such horrible thoughts, take a step back and try to see what it is telling you. It is NOT telling you that your friend just lost the last 10 pounds that anyone, anywhere will ever lose. It is NOT telling you that she just ran the last 3 miles and no one will ever be able to do that again.
It points to fear. Fear of doing something I really want, but don’t yet feel BRAVE enough to do yet. Fear that I am not able to get what I want. Or Fear that someone else is getting what should be mine. Jealousy doesn’t allow for abundance and multiplicity in the Universe. It says there can be only one. It tells us, “they are ahead, why even try?”
I don’t know of anyone who is enlightened enough not to feel the pangs of jealousy every once in a while. But I believe it can be a guide. A guide to what we really want. And a guide to what steps need to be taken to get there.
So after I took the hit, and felt sorry for myself because of my lack of progress. I took a long, hard look at what I have been doing and what I NEED to start doing in order to get on track to what I want. Because it is so much easier to say “That’s great that you lost 10 pounds.” and really, really mean it, when you are right there along for the ride.