Come Sail Away

I was all prepared to write a (hopefully) helpful post about my body type, the problematic areas and some tricks I’ve learned to help camo those said areas when all of sudden an emergency developed. I need help y’all, and I need it fast. And yes I just used the word “y’all.” That should tell you a little about my state of mind right now.

We just got invited to go sailing Sunday. I should preface this by saying there’s almost nothing I’d rather be doing than chillin’ on a boat on a body of water, anytime, anywhere. And this particular body of water, Lake Murray, happens to be one of my favorites, ever. My first grown-up house was on the shores of this lake. I got married in Brian’s dad’s back yard which also happens to be on the shores of this lake. I love this lake lots. And while I’ve been on all sorts of different boats, I’ve never been on a sail boat and I’m darn excited about it.

I’m sure you’ve already guessed what the problem is, right?

Summer + water activity = minimal clothing. It technically actually means a bathing suit, but -hahaha – let’s just take that out of the equation RIGHT NOW because it’s not even a remote possibility. Add into the mix that the girl portion of the couple who invited us is thirteen years younger than me, VERY thin, blonde and has a literal just-back-from Jamaica tan. I know; I’ve seen her vacation pictures on Facebook. Girl’s lookin’ HOT. And I hate, hate, HATE I’m even having these so predictable insecurity feelings we females tend to harbor so well. I happen to like this girl very much and every time we’ve hung out I’ve had a great time with her. Believe me, I’ve been in situations where the hot girl in the group is NOT nice and that’s just no fun at all. This is nothing like that.

I know I need to get over myself and stop being such a putz. It’s not like being the older and fatter of the two women is going to ruin my time Sunday. Seriously. I just really wish I could think of something appropriate to wear that won’t make me feel like a self-conscious boob all damn day. Or even better, re-train my brain not to ever think like this again. It’s not productive or useful, a complete waste of energy and it makes me feel really stupid.

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10 Responses to Come Sail Away

  1. Taoist Biker says:

    Umm, I wish I could suggest some clothes to wear but you’re pretty much stuck. And as for how to get rid of the self-consciousness, well as I blogged last week, EMDR therapy seems to help a little bit, but aside from that I gots nuttin’.

    Maybe combine with your “how to convince” bit, and make sure Brian is, uh, more happy than usual on Saturday? “She looks like that, true, but MY man is the one with the wobbly legs and the goofy grin!” 😀

    • Kimmothy says:

      Excellent idea and one I’m not above implementing. I don’t even know what I’m afraid of – the fact he’ll have eye candy all day?? In fact these are the people we’d be going to the music festival with, so if anything this might tip the scales in my favor!

  2. crisitunity says:

    One word: sarong. You can get them pretty cheaply, and there are so many ways you can wrap and tie and fiddle with them to make yourself look shapely.

    If you’re planning on actually swimming, I got nothin’ for you. I’ve been avoiding swimming, because of the bathing suit problem, for about five years now.

    • Kimmothy says:

      Not swimming! Even if I was in the best shape of my life I try to stay out of lakes.
      I’ve never owned a sarong because I’m intimidated on how to actually wear one, but the thought actually crossed my mind too. Might have to make a quick trip to whatever store might have one.

  3. Kimmothy says:

    Thanks; I think I’ll check there today or tomorrow. Maybe they also offer discount liposuction as well.

  4. Laura says:

    Swim naked! They’ll all be so distracted by the holy crap of it all that nobody will think about comparing body shapes. 😀

  5. […] Come Sail Away « No Butts About It […]

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