So I survived being on a boat all day yesterday with a tan, hot blond in a bikini. Go me, right? Turns out I was right about the fact I was so happy to be out on the lake that I probably wouldn’t have minded if Giselle had joined us on the boat. Well, that might be an exaggeration. But hopefully you get the idea. I think I’ve finally hit that point in my life where I’m (mostly) thankful to have a (mostly) well-running body, one that is able to do whatever I need it to do. Could be better/could be worse type of situation. And as long as I’m doing things to make it better, that’s all I can do. Considering they still haven’t figured out a non-tortuous way to make people taller.
My body type is somewhat problematic when I’m at the higher end of my weight spectrum. I’m fairly short (between 5’3″ and 5’4″), have an extremely short torso and boobs that become melon-like when I’m carrying extra weight around. Some people have expressed melon-envy, but these people need to realize it’s not all fun and games. Clothes do not look great on “apple” shaped women who are larger on top than on the bottom. Buttons gape open hatefully. I sometimes need to go up a size to ensure the girls will be contained within the shirt so that the rest of it looks big and sloppy. Joan (hot bikini friend) took a picture of me yesterday where when I saw it I actually gasped out loud, as my boobs cast a shadow that could provide sun protection for a small village. And this is ten pounds DOWN from where I was. Oy.
I’m still utilizing a somewhat transitionary wardrobe, but I have found some tricks that help make me look less barrel-like until I can get back down to resembling just a normal short person with knockers.
- Long tank tops. While short ones sometimes make me look like an actual tank, layering these bad boys under most any kind of shirt helps to both reign in the bulges and elongate the torso area.
- (I hate to admit this, but…) Shapewear. Yes, I was very depressed a few months ago when I desperately succumbed to buying a minimizing bra and something that resembled a corset, but for times I have to dress up and look presentable, these items have been invaluable in their assistance. I haven’t gone the Spanx route (yet), but I’ve always been curious about them.
- Dark colored tops. An oldie but goodie. Though black is the most tried and true and I’ve always felt best wearing it (mayhaps because it best matches my soul), I’ve really made an effort to only use it as a fallback. Especially during summer, when looking like an old Italian widow wasn’t exactly the look I was going for.
- My tendency, no matter how much or little I’ve weighed, is to wear clothes too big for me. I know it’s a security thing and a lot of people do it. We shouldn’t, and I’ve made an effort to wear sizes that fit best, whatever it happens to be at the time.
- Shirt dresses are my friends.
- So are skirts.
And now that the season is getting ready to change (Rah rah sis boom bah!) and I’m continuing to work on my weightloss goals, I think the limited clothing options I’ve had to deal with over the past year are going to be opening up a little bit more. And the good part about that is the more improvements I see, the more I want to make.
And maybe next summer, I’ll be the hot blond on the sail boat. Not really blond, but hopefully that won’t matter.