Penance

Since my good-feeling 5k race in mid-July, I’ve run precisely four times.  Including last night.  I have been a suckish bastard.

Now, I’ve done more exercise than that – heavy pack-mule labor at work – several 10+ mile bike rides, both with Boy (somewhat leisurely) and by myself (I pushed myself fairly hard) – climbing the 5-story stairs to the water slides last weekend over and over and over – etc.  But running?  No.  Considering that I’m trying hard to work up to a running goal, that’s not good.

But I have plenty of time.  The half-marathon that is the “end goal” isn’t until April.  I have time to be a fuckup on occasion.  But it’s not helped if I’m doing vacation-eating at the same time – which is precisely what I’ve been doing.

School has started, so I have to get myself re-focused into a different routine again.  I can’t get up and go running in the mornings anymore – the park doesn’t open until 6, and Boy needs to be up and about by 6:30.  I suppose I could get up at 5 or earlier and run around my neighborhood, but there is that slightly increased chance of getting run over or, possibly, shot as a Peeping Tom or something crazy like that.  And if the hills in the park are bad, the hills in my neighborhood are even more nutso.  I’m not sure I’m quite ready for that level of challenge quite yet.

So I’m trying to re-acclimate myself to running after work, or possibly later in the evening.  It’s too bad – early morning workouts are best for me, because I tend to be a morning person.  By afternoon, I’m already feeling kinda run down and looking for reasons to avoid working out (and with a family at home, those reasons usually aren’t hard to find).  If I stop on my way home from work, I’m prolonging my workday.  Once I get home, though, getting me to leave again and go work out or run or whatever is crazy hard.  Even if it is cooler at 8 than at 6.

Yesterday’s run was in a bad time of day for me, and yes it was probably 10 degrees hotter than I’ve been used to with my morning runs.  But that’s still no excuse for me turning in my first over-40-minute time for a 3.5 mile run since June.  The reason is that I’ve been a suckass slacker.  And that part has got to change.

I will now do penance by forcing myself not to suck.  And wow, sometimes that’s hard!

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4 Responses to Penance

  1. Tiffany says:

    Don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re in good company (mine!) with the slackardness. We’re rediscovering our motivation, right? It’s going to be the on-going, lifelong cycle. Do great for a while, slack off for a bit, feel guilty and all FAIL, pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, do great for a while…

    I have an article in mind about mental health and its relation to physical health. Maybe I’ll get to that this weekend, but the nutshell thought that I have is, one follows the other. You and I both have spoken about having the blues, which makes us want to slack off with the workouts. Then, something mentally improves, which in turn motivates us to be physical, which in turn boosts our mental health… it’s a chicken/egg thing, but once it starts rolling in tends to KEEP rolling. Good luck!!!

    • Taoist Biker says:

      In my case, sometimes exercising gives me the time to work through things in my head – other times it provides me the opportunity to stew on them. I’ve experienced each over the summer. Generally though I think exercising is an avenue to better mental health. I at least feel better about myself for having DONE SOMETHING.

      I’ve resolved long ago not to beat myself up too much for the occasional slackitude…just not to let a week or a month turn into six months or a year. Because been there, done that, and recovering from that makes a hard situation that much harder.

  2. Marie says:

    You said “suck” three times. That means the suck monster is going to appear and destroy you.

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